Setting the right written tone could make all the difference to selling your products or services. Here’s a true story to show you why…
I enjoy using a well-known worldwide social media site, and like all of its users, I have to put up with seeing adverts. They are designed to be carefully targeted to me and my needs. A few years ago, one in particular made me sit up and take notice.
It was my birthday. Alongside the greetings from friends, a box popped up.
“48 today?” it chirped, accurately. “Why not take advantage of our reduced-rate funeral plans?”
Yes. Seriously.
I understand, I really do, that selling funerals must be a thankless task. But… on my actual birthday? A human being tweaking the algorithm thought it was a good idea to specifically link my special day to my own demise? What next? Funeral packages being sold alongside the racks of greeting cards, bunting and balloons?
Let’s accept without argument that the under 50s are just the right target audience for end-of-life planning services. Full marks for marketing chutzpah. But as for the content and tone… Back to the classroom, chaps.
To be fair, on the other 364 days of the year, the advert’s second sentence would have been just fine. We can’t really object to the funereal content per se; it’s big business.
It was the birthday content that blew it.
Avoid mixed messages
Here, I’m using ‘the content’ to mean what the writing is about, eg, the description of a product; a business plan or report; a travel journal.
The ‘tone’ is what kind of mood is used to convey that content – perhaps excited, respectful, or friendly. The tone could (and usually should) vary depending on the audience.
That might seem obvious. But, as we’ve seen, sometimes the content and tone become completely mixed up. (In this case, “Have a seriously gloomy birthday” or “Hooray! Always look on the bright side of death”.)
Maybe they didn’t think that an ad that was only twelve words long needed editing (how wrong they were!). In longer copy, checking for consistency of tone becomes even more important. It’s one of the many things that a professional editor can do.
However, it does help to know the tone of voice you want to use in the first place.
Why are your readers reading?
Let’s imagine your company sells tartan paint.
You might want a rapid turnover of Value Tartan Paint, in which case your written copy could be lively, urgent and fun, with a liberal sprinkling of exclamation marks. You are targeting readers who want something cheap and cheerful, and they want to get to the point quickly.
On the other hand, you might prefer to emphasise the high quality of the Superior Tartan Paint range. Here, you would do better to use a more serious tone, perhaps with more elaborate words like ‘durability’ and ‘versatility’, to appeal to buyers who like to take their time before spending (more of) their money.
Or perhaps you’re writing the Tartan Paint User Manual. This doesn’t need to be fun, and it doesn’t matter how gorgeous the paint looks at this point either. This is the time for clear, simple language to make sure the job is done easily, safely and efficiently.
In essence, the content is the same in all three scenarios – the description of a product.
But get the tone wrong, and you might have to write a report to your boss explaining why sales of tartan paint have slumped. (I’d suggest avoiding the exclamation marks in that.)
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t take up the offer of a cheap funeral plan, and I don’t remember who was offering. And maybe I’ve missed the moment – I’m in my 50s now, so I get adverts for knee supports instead.
Pernickety Kate likes nothing better than getting to grips with the nitty gritty of written language. If you’d like a fresh pair of eyes on your writing, please get in touch today!